Mailbag: A package from Jericho

On September 7, I received a small package from Jericho (@attritionorg) as a “prize” for submitting a picture of Lazlo near SCADA gear.  I finally got to meet him in Las Vegas this summer at BSidesLV and DEF CON.  We must have trolled each other for at least a year on twitter about CyberSCADASquirrels.  One day we’ll probably publish a whitepaper on the correlation between the population density of squirrels and the number of power outages.  I heard rumors of Jericho sending random crap to people.  I suppose this means I’m confirmed as the next target on his creep list.  Let’s see into the mind of Jericho by analyzing this Cornucopia of Crapâ„¢ item by item.

I’ve been BoS’d!!!

#1.  The first thing I saw when I opened the box was this children’s hospital magnet.  It was the same size of the box and hid the rest of the crap from view.  “You’re it…not it…double dare…double trouble…ouch” sounds like…well…I better be nice since this is from a children’s hospital.  I hope Jericho’s child(ren) were okay…

#2.  Rocks & Minerals Chart and 1 additional polished stone.  What is this…1970’s Minecraft?

#3.  Samsung TV remote buttons that Jericho probably removed from some hotel…which is why I used rubber gloves when handling it.  It gave me the jibblie jibblies.

#4.  A Qualys Sharpie and an Imperva pen…obviously obtained from a conference.  Thanks for contributing to my wife’s writing utensil hoarding disorder.

#5.  I have no idea where this blue shield iron-on patch is from.  Many internet searches later (including Google Goggles) didn’t turn up a single match.  Let’s just put it in the WTF category for now…

**EDIT** I found out via twitter that it’s a Blue Team patch from this website.  https://squareup.com/market/seeds-of-epiphany-inc  Cool!

#6.  Jericho is a herder of black sheep…so this makes sense.  Or does it mean that “Black Sheep” is his favorite movie of all time?  Either way…same result.

#7.  A piece of a cut up M&I Bank Visa credit or check card (the eagle hologram in all its glory)…last 4 digits 9366.  Um…okay?

#8.  A Tenable Blackhat 2013 party badge…gee…thanks!  I didn’t go to that party when I was in Las Vegas this summer, but if I did…I’m sure Jericho would have tried to get me drunk and interrogate me.  There’s no telling how many Tuscany drink tickets he kept giving me…

#9.  The top to a Pimm’s #1 Cup liqueur bottle…how British!  Same song…what verse are we on now old bean???

#10.  A Thotcon Verge of Being Too Awesome Card…coming from Jericho I’ll take it as a compliment.  My 2nd favorite item.

#11.  A Solarwinds button that says No Password, No Token, No Service…which is similar to Jericho’s motto: “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem!”

#12.  A card that says “intentionally blank”…which pretty much describes Jericho’s stare when he’s watching cat videos on YouTube.

#13.  This must be the only bead that he “earned” from that trip to Bourbon Street a while back.  He probably left his conference nametag on too.  Does “I bet you $20 I can tell you where you got your shoes?” ring a bell?

#14.  36 assorted keyboard keys that didn’t appear to show a message of any kind.  Well…other than the message that Jericho must have a huge drawer full of these things.

#15.  This is my absolute favorite item…a Squirrel Coffee Cup!

Either Jericho want’s me to cut back on my caffeine intake, or he wants me to give coffee to the squirrels living in my yard in the morning.  Since I don’t want caffeinated squirrels running amok…especially into my power line…I’ve decided to take it to work.  One of my fellow engineers, who is in charge of squirrel mitigation designs for substation power equipment, got quite the chuckle.

Two can play this game…and it just so happens that I will be in Jericho’s neck of the woods this week at the EnergySec Summit.  /me rubs hands together and laughs diabolically.

@chrissistrunk